Heal Your Fear of Rejection

The other day my 8-year-old son broke one of the lamps in the living room by throwing a small pillow meant to land on the couch, not the lamp behind it. After we discussed what happened, I went to make a phone call and he settled onto the couch to read a book. About half an hour later, I wandered in to watch TV with him.

When he saw me, he moved the pillows on the other couch, perpendicular to the one he was sitting on and when I asked why he had done that, he said, "I knew you wouldn't want to sit with me!" When I plopped down next to him, I had to swallow a laugh at the look on his face.

"Well, I know you won't want to hug me!" he said, not meeting my eyes. When I scooped him up, he hugged me really tight and I could feel his relief that though I had been angry, I wasn't going to reject him.

How often is fear of rejection a problem for you?

Life lessons represent areas where we have been wounded, hurt places that never healed, and limiting beliefs about ourselves, about life, about relationships, etc., that hold us back.

Everyone experiences fear of rejection or disapproval at some time in their lives, but if it is one of your life lessons, you experience to a sometimes paralyzing degree. You may find it hard to be yourself with others, censoring what you say and being careful about what you do in order to avoid criticism.

There may be times when you catch yourself trying too hard to be liked or you may go in the other direction, so sure of being rejected yourself that you reject others first, so you don't have to experience it.

Is this an issue that resonates for you?

List as many recent experiences as you can think of that are examples of this life lesson in your life.

If you hadn't had this challenge, how might your life be different?

Describe any stories from your past that might have gone another way if you hadn't had this challenge. Re-write them, giving them the ending you think they would have had, instead.

Are there current examples from your life today that you think are being affected by this life lesson? If you could resolve or overcome this challenge, what would change?

Once you have increased your awareness of this issue in your life, the next step is to find the memories and beliefs that need to heal. They, then, become your target for healing and you can choose a healing technique that fits the lesson you are working on, adding more if you need more.