"Shame is so painful, so debilitating that persons develop a thousand coping strategies, conscious and unconscious, numbing and destructive, to avoid its tortures." -Robert D. Caldwell, M.Div
"Toxic shame is most often multi-generational. Family secrets can go back many generations and can be carried forward generation after generation. Since these secrets are kept hidden, they never get worked out." -John Bradshaw
Life lessons represent areas where we have been wounded, hurt places that never healed and limiting beliefs about ourselves, about life, about relationships, that hold us back.
Blocked Passions/Shame/Numbness
Shame is the predominant wound for this life lesson and shutting down into numbness is a common response to shame. Emotional neglect, overcontrolling parents or sexual abuse may be a part of your history.
Shutting down leads to feeling numb but also to having difficulty with boundaries-knowing what they are or knowing when they've been violated. You may be completely out of touch with yourself and may find it hard to get clear about what you want.
This is a life lesson that keeps people in jobs they don't like. They don't know what they want, instead.
Some part of their soul knows what they are passionate about, what wants to be expressed and lived out in their work and in their daily lives, but that awareness is blocked.
In the next post, there will be some journal questions for reflection about toxic shame.
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